Dream with open eyes

Read everyday. Especially when you feel low. It’ll fill you up and smooth you out. I wake up from beautiful dreams, feeling sad for not being in the dream anymore.

I read when that happens.

See when I was a child, I dreamed the world to be a certain way lovely and cozy. And I couldn’t wait to grow up. Then I actually did start to grow up, to see nothing was like I imagined it to be. Disappointment turned me bitter. Most of the time I felt like I was going insane, and the world started to crash around me. I went numb and sad that it was not, after all, how I thought it would be. So I was stuck in this prison like life; cold, blue, and friendless. In other words, I was depressed.

I stopped thinking of things to do to fix it. Because it couldn’t be fixed. The dream was over.

Then one day when I was still very young and disillusioned, I picked up a book. It started to draw me in to its world, like a dream I started to see things magically, everything was possible again. Dreams jumped out of the book in my hand and danced right out in front of me. I remember feeling happy and excited. Finally something felt close to my dream world. To be able to experience the same dream like quality in real life I had been longing for, while still being awake. How fortunate of me to finally figure out a way to do that.

Now it was all inside this book in my hand. The world I’d been searching for all along. I started to get strangely scared as I went through the book. Here was this one book I was devouring that was going to come to an end after a few more hours, so I started to read slowly. But I was still terrified! What would I do after I really finished the book! How would I go back and face the world around me again? This world I despised to be in because it was so unlike the dreams I had always wanted to live in?

The answer: Find another one like it! Of course. How hard could it be to read another book that would tell me how others dreams. Obviously, writers must have similar disappointments too? I imagine them to have written about their visions and the world the have really wanted to be in all along. Writers are people like me, who so love their dreams and the world too, that they try to make them one. I do love the world too. But I’d also like to be able to live my dreams within this world, with open eyes. The most effective way that I have found so far, is to read.

Bibi
Photo by Nic Hohn

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